I know this rant might make me sound like a crybaby or a manchild, but I do not care anymore. I was brainwashed from day one into thinking that giving is always a good thing. I was taught to be the friend who is always there. To suffer in silence, but always be ready to fix everyone else's mess. The harsh reality? If I am too nice, I just become a magnet for users.

The Trap of Being Useful

Why did I let them? Because deep down, I bought into a stupid lie: I thought I had to be useful for people to like me. I was terrified that if I stopped giving rides, doing favors, or picking up tabs, people would just forget I exist. I refuse to ask for help because I hate being a burden, but I blindly carry everyone else's garbage.

Eventually, I just snapped. There was no massive screaming match. It was just a cold, hard wake-up call: these people do not actually care about me. They only care about what I can do for them.

The Anatomy of a User

I started seeing the patterns. First, the 'convenient' friend. My phone only rings when they need my scooter, a ride, or a favor. To them, I am not a friend. I am just a free service.

Then I have the fake planners. They hype up a summer trip or a hackathon just to sound involved. They want the credit of being a friend without doing any of the actual work. The plans always die, they leave me hanging, and then, right on cue, they have the audacity to ask me for a favor.

The worst part is the blatant hypocrisy. We all hit rock bottom. Sometimes I just need a few days of smoking or shutting the world out to survive. A real friend checks in. These people? They judge me. Meanwhile, they are smoking weed, running back to their toxic exes, and repeating their own awful mistakes. They point fingers at my bad days just so they do not have to look at their own miserable choices.

And then there are the shameless free-riders. I am out here grinding day and night. I am cold-calling clients, selling AI products, and spending whatever time I have left just trying to learn and build my future. Yet on my own birthday, they will sit there and shamelessly eat on my dime. But the real irony? When they actually get placed and secure a job, and it is finally their turn to treat the group, they suddenly claim they have no money. How does that even work? It is not about the cash. It is about the blatant double standards and the sheer lack of respect.

The Resentment of Success

But nothing kills the illusion faster than their jealousy. I played a prank once about landing a massive CTC offer just to watch their masks slip. I did not see happiness; I saw pure, bitter envy. They ask what is wrong with me for working day and night. They do not get it. They do not understand that I am grinding for a reason. I see the girls around my university campus living such cool, beautiful lives, and I sometimes imagine just how hard their fathers had to work to give that life to their daughters. I want to be that father. I want to build that exact life for my unborn daughter. They just see my success, and they feel threatened by it. The ugly truth is that some friends want me to do well, but they never want me to do better than them.

The Peace of Strangers

When I finally woke up to all of this, strangers suddenly looked like better company. Strangers have zero expectations. A stranger will not beg for my scooter. A stranger will not judge me for smoking on a bad day. A stranger will not eat my food and expect me to pay. Strangers just leave me in peace.

Seeing this does not make me bitter. It just means I am not blind anymore. Because I never ask for anything, people got way too comfortable using me. Wanting a friendship that is not a one-way street is the bare minimum.

The Power of Walking Away

So what was my next move? I did not need a dramatic fight. I just started matching their energy.

The first time I said 'no', it felt terrifying. I felt guilty. When they asked for the scooter and I said no, or when I handed them the bill to split, I waited for the explosion. But it did not happen. They just looked shocked. Some got defensive, but most of them just quickly walked away to find their next victim. That is when the reality set in: they never cared about me. They only cared about what they could extract from me.

Do not get me wrong. I still believe in helping people when they are genuinely in need. I have not lost my empathy. But I have finally learned that even kindness needs strict limits. The Bhagavad Gita clearly states: "Charity given out of duty, without expectation of return, at the proper time and place, and to a worthy person is considered to be in the mode of goodness."

The key phrase there is "to a worthy person." Giving is a beautiful thing, but blindly handing your energy over to people who only want to use you is just self-destruction.

I also finally learned what real friendship looks like. A real friend does not keep score, and they do not get jealous when I win. When I talk about my future daughter and my grind, their eyes light up. They do not drag me down. They cheer as I run ahead.

When I stopped handing out free passes, the users naturally filtered themselves out of my life. I know for a fact that once university is over, they will never call me again. And I am completely fine with that. It does not make me feel lonely; it makes me feel free. The silence that followed felt weird at first. But I have realized one thing: an empty room is infinitely better than a room full of leeches.

Even after writing all of this, my chest still feels heavy.